How to Prepare Children for Wealth, Not Just Wealth for Children
We spend decades building wealth, saving, investing, and planning for the future. Yet, when it comes to what happens after we’ve built it, too many families stop short of the most important step: preparing their children to receive it.
Passing on assets without also passing on purpose is like handing someone the keys to a 747 without ever teaching them to fly it. The structure may be impressive, but the risk of a crash and confusion is high.
Why Traditional Legacy Planning Falls Short
Most estate and financial plans are built around structure: tax efficiency, control, and asset protection. Those things matter, but they don’t make a legacy. Without a shared sense of why the wealth exists, families risk losing not just their money, but their sense of unity.
Studies consistently show that 90% of families fail to transfer both their wealth and values successfully beyond the third generation. The problem isn’t technical, it’s relational. The missing piece is communication, shared identity, and preparation.
Start With the Why (and the Who)
Legacy planning shouldn’t begin with documents; it should begin with dialogue. Before deciding how assets are divided, take time to articulate your family’s purpose.
Ask questions like:
- What do we want our wealth to represent?
- Which values do we want to guide our decisions?
- Who are we, as a family, and what do we stand for?
When those answers are clear, decisions about investments, philanthropy, or inheritance become more natural. Purpose gives context to every choice.
The Power of Naming Core Values
Tools like CoreOlogy, developed by estate planner and author David York, help families identify and measure their core values. Think of it as a compass for decision-making: when a new opportunity arises, you can ask, “Does this align with our family’s values?”
One family David worked with realized that their top three values were loyalty, integrity, and excellence. Those words guided how they hired staff, made investments, and even scheduled time together. When a new opportunity came up that didn’t align with “excellence,” the decision was easy; they passed. Clarity creates confidence.
Turn Conversation Into Culture
Legacy isn’t built in a single meeting. It’s built into how a family communicates, through questions, stories, and time together. Share the moments that shaped you. Explain the decisions that define you. Encourage younger generations to do the same.
Healthy families grow through shared stories. Those stories help new members, spouses, partners, and in-laws understand not just what the family values, but why those values exist.
From Fear-Based to Opportunity-Based Planning
Traditional estate planning often focuses on what could go wrong: taxes, disputes, or mismanagement. But a purpose-driven approach asks a different question: what could go right?
When families move from fear to opportunity, they begin to view wealth as a vehicle for growth, impact, and shared fulfillment. The result isn’t just financial stability, it’s generational strength.
A Practical First Step
If your family hasn’t yet started these conversations, begin small:
- Share one personal story that shaped your views on money.
- Ask your children what they believe wealth is for.
- Write down the three values you’d want to define your family 50 years from now.
You don’t need millions to build a meaningful legacy. You just need intention.
Legacy isn’t optional; it’s inevitable.
The question is whether you’ll let it happen by default or by design.
